Saturday, August 25, 2012

I have been doing really well.  I have been so grateful for the joy I feel, and the peace I have had. I have really been enjoying life and taking in all my experiences. Then, I got a feeling. I'm not sure if it was a real prompting, or something else, but I felt that another baby was impatiently waiting for me. Like this baby needed to come NOW. I would be watching des and paige and have this terrifying feeling that I had forgotten the baby somewhere. What baby? I don't have another baby. I have felt baby hunger so intensely! So  I prayed and fasted and went to the temple, and I felt so good about it!  That was 3 months ago. 3 failed attempts to get pregnant. Now, it hasn't affected me NEARLY like it had before. But it still hurts. It still hurts to fail. Was I wrong? Was the feeling all my own creation? I have really been reconsidering my previous thoughts. Doubting my feelings. Praying about Heavenly Father's plan for me. Life is so confusing.

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